Nine times Nawaz Sharif was too cute
Video     Photos     Pakistan     World     Islam     Health     Crime     Islamic News     Business     Society     India     Travel     Middle East     Sport     sci/tech      Contact      RSS
Search

Kabul library bus drives Afghan children to read

World Cup 2018: Mexico upset defending champs Germany 1-0

Has PTI closed her doors for Ch.Nisar Ali Khan?

Are Iran and Israel heading toward open warfare?

India should seriously consider 'limited war' with Pakistan: BJP leader

The end of Fazlullah

Did someone attempt to poison Kusloom Nawaz?

Messi misses penalty as Iceland hold out for draw

At least 26 dead in Afghanistan suicide attack during Eid ceasefire

Mullah Fazlullah: Ruthless TTP chief who green-lighted 2014 Peshawar carnage

Ronaldo hat-trick earns Portugal draw with Spain in thriller

Pakistan celebrates Eid with religious zeal and fervour

“Saudi Arabia must not purchase Russian S-400”; Washington threatens its ally with sanctions

State terrorism: India'Rising Kashmir editor-in-chief Shujaat Bukhari gunned down

Dynasties, old and new: How Imran Khan disappointed his workers?

UN on Kashmir: Would mere statement enough to stop Genocide of Kashmiris?

Shellshocked Spain face Portugal in early World Cup treat

Battling depression in educational institutes

Saudi-led warships doomed to destruction: Yemen’s Navy

Kulsoom Nawaz in Critical condition after Cardiac arrest: Maryam asks for prayers

Soccer diplomacy: Is Putin looking for a thaw between Iran and Saudi Arabia?

US drone strike reportedly kills senior TTP chief Mullah Fazlullah in Afghanistan

Fortifying speculations of death: Saudi crown prince absent from King Salman meeting with 24 princes

MWM Chief hosts Iftar party in honour of ambassadors of Muslim countries

UN agency hopes to win reprieve for Afghan refugees

'Man buries deceased father in brand-new BMW in Nigeria'

Eid-ul-Fitar likely on Saturday in Pakistan

Musharraf barred from contesting election

A book against Imran Khan: Is it a last weapon against PTI chief?

NA-247: A dictator, a mayor, an activist – who deserves Karachi’s hot seat?

Five Pakistani students graduate from South Asian University in New Delhi

Yemeni troops repel Saudi attack on Hudaydah port

Saudi Arabia ruined Morocco's World Cup bid, Moroccans say

Pakistan team seals series against Scottish kids

Complicity in War Crimes: UK Facilitating Suspicious Arms Flow to Saudi Arabia

Trump: Our rocket strike against Syria last year was a warning to China!

Did Nawaz deliberately asked Khawaja Haris to quit?

The withdrawal of UN and Red Cross forces from Hodiedah port in Yemen

Can election commission stop JuD offshoots to contest elections?

A Test of nerves for Afghanistan in debut against India

COMSATS Rector’s Research Paper Found Plagiarized Yet Again

Why Shouldn't Shiite leaders be a part of MMA?

Afghanistan peace: US gun on Pakistan shoulder

Trump, Kim end summit, but was the deal clearly worded?

Pakistan thrashes Scotland in first T20

The spy pigeons: Is India making it a laughing stock?

Azerbaijan envoy praises Pakistan Armys role for regional peace

Iran, China use their currencies for joint trade exchange

Will Pakistan's daughter Khadija Siddiqi ever find justice

What is up the sleeve of military establishment? – by Peja Mistry

A PTI candidate who defeated Nawaz on PPP ticket

Imran Khan: From political pariah to a potential PM

Can Scotland topple the No.1 T20 team?

Tit for Tat: Can PTI use Ch. Nisar against Nawaz in response to Reham Khan's book?

PIEAS Tops Pakistani Universities in QS Rankings 2019

India’s Nayara Energy to cut Iran oil imports

No lesson from Iran: Finally the North Korea lost to US

Ridiculous allegation: Netanyahu claimed to help the lack of water in Iran

On June 6, 1963, at least 116 Shia Muslims were massacred

Would Ch.Nisar dent PML-N as independent candidate?

SC suspends tax deductions on prepaid cellphone top-up cards

Gwadar-Chabahar connectivity to deepen economic ties

Mammoth Challenge: Can Pakistan avoid its name from FATF?

Why Khawaja Haris refused to defend Nawaz Sharif?

Cat is out of the bag: How PTM fooled people to gain political mileage?

Fox News calls Donald Trump a ‘dictator’

Qatar on Saudi war threat: World not living in law of the jungle era

Closure of mosques in Austria may lead to ‘war between cross & crescent’ – Erdogan

AL QUDS DAY 2018: THOUSANDS RALLY THROUGH LONDON IN SUPPORT OF PALESTINE + PHOTOS

Israel agents trained India commandos leading Sikh temple raid

‘UAE buying Jerusalem properties on behalf of Israel’

No party ticket: Would PML-N abandon Ch.Nisar?

A road to defeat: Did Imran Khan commit a historic blunder?

Nawaz behind bars: PML-N in further disarray

Has Jahangir Tareen parted ways with Imran Khan?

‘UN deal with Myanmar could return Rohingya Muslims to killing fields’

‘US used 9/11 attacks to target Muslims’

Horrific moment IDF gas canister hits Palestinian in the face

US Professor: Mohammed Bin Salman is world’s richest Zionist

Politics in the mess: Who will be next Prime Minister of Pakistan?

Hamas Deputy Chief thanks Pakistani nation over support to Palestine

A thickening plot: Would sending Nawaz behind bars benefit PML-N in elections?

Would Pakistan jump into stalled Afghan peace process again?

Austria could expel up to 60 Turkish-funded imams

Saudi's potential attack on Yemen's port of Hudaydah may kill 250,000, UN says

What is the future of Younger Sharif?

Iran marks International Quds Day with massive rallies

Approaching elections and US interest in Pakistan's politics

How Saudia offered oil support to Trump for Iran's decision

Back in politics: Is Establishment give a key role to Musharraf in next Government?

Imran in the eye of storm: Reham claims PTI leadership employed sex for political purpose

An expected U-turn: Did Pompeo seek Pakistan help to strengthen Ghani?

Turkey ready to attack northern Iraq: Erdogan

Foreign investment in Saudi Arabia collapses under bin Salman

Israeli Leader: Assad ‘No Longer Immune’ From Attack

Saudi Arabia kills more children than ISIS, al-Qaeda and al-Nusra combined

Why the West publish Bad Press of Religious Freedom in Iran ?

Would Imran Khan remain Sadiq and Amin after Reham Khan's book?

MWM announces observance of nationwide Quds Day on Friday

Are free and fair elections possible in Pakistan?

2018-03-13 13:10:55

Nine times Nawaz Sharif was too cute

 

When Nawaz Sharif demands to know why he was ousted for the third time from the prime minister’s office, one feels it would be impossible to surpass this level of innocence for anybody over the age of four.

One is obliged to revise one’s assessment when Sharif answers his own question: it was his failure to receive salary from his own son for which he was booted out. It’s not uncharacteristic either, for when it comes to public displays of innocence Sharif has long been in a one-way competition with himself, some instances of which I am listing here for the benefit of forgetful souls:

1. Qarz utaro mulk sanwaro. In 1997 Sharif had an epiphany: a brilliantly simple idea to retire the foreign debt by exhorting the masses to dig deep into their pockets. I still remember a university class-fellow (a regular patwari, although it would take two decades before the term would be coined) marveling at how nobody had thought of such a simple plan to get rid of the nation’s debt problem before. Sadly, in terms of foreign debt Pakistan was none the better for the whole exercise. What’s more, nobody seemed to know where all the funds had gone.

2. Tele-governance. That same year Sharif felt compelled to solve the nation’s other problems too – if only he could find any. He decided to ask his countrymen to bring him up to speed on the phone, and many did. The conversations were played on state TV. One of my colleagues (then a mere schoolboy) was able to get through from Gilgit. Unfortunately, ‘Please remain on the line; the prime minister will talk with you’, was the closest he got to talking to the great man, before suddenly getting disconnected. He wanted to tell the PM what a great job he was doing, something the latter no-doubt already had an inkling of. For mysterious reasons, the tele-governance didn’t last very long.

3. Run machine. While his lone first-class appearance resulted in a duck for Railways against PIA in 1973, in the 90s (after he became PM) Sharif’s batting exploits at Bagh-e-Jinnah started being reported amazingly frequently (he never bowled or fielded). It was without exception a deluge of fours and sixes (bowlers and fielders knew better than getting him out). In 2017 he fondly recalled those golden days and described how he could never resist hooking bouncers, and how he had scored a belligerent 36 not out in a friendly Commonwealth match at Harare in 1991 (again as PM) where the opposition had ‘bowlers’ of the quality of Clive Lloyd!

4. At par with Muhammad Rafi. There’s no documentary evidence to support Sharif’s claim (made in 2017) of being indistinguishable from Muhammad Rafi till only a few years ago, but at least one Indian citizen was enamored enough of his voice to ask him to sing over the telephone. On such occasions he is rumored to have sung Dilshad Begum songs in Muhammad Rafi’s voice. Equal to Rafi or not, only an extremely simple and trusting fellow would expose himself in such manner – on international calls, no-less.

 

5. The fifteenth amendment. Sharif has made something of a habit of ‘heavy’ mandates. One such mandate prompted him (in 1998) to try and become the ameer-ul-momineen (because why the hell not?). Had he succeeded, he would have got the power to amend the constitution by a simple majority, provided the amendment ‘helped the enforcement of Shariah’. The bill failed to pass but the attempt itself won him the simple-soul-of-the-year award hands down.
6. Don’t remember. And then there was the small matter of 140 million distributed among politicians as part of the establishment’s plan to prevent the PPP from winning the 1990 elections, which succeeded spectacularly when Sharif became PM for the first time. Unsurprisingly, Sharif, along with younger brother Shehbaz, featured prominently on the recipients’ list later revealed by none other than the DG ISI at the time. Sharif’s written statement submitted to FIA years later in his third stint as PM was innocence itself: I don’t remember receiving the amount – it was a long time ago, and one meets so many people in election seasons. But if any such thing happened, I am willing to return the amount with interest. How disarmingly charming!
7. Austerity drive. In the aftermath of the nuclear tests in 1998, Sharif, after promptly freezing foreign currency accounts of citizens, showed one and all that he was taking the brunt of the international sanctions by announcing that only one meal a day will be cooked in his home. It is said that when he refused to budge on his promise to the nation, his well-wishers, to keep his energy at the requisite prime-ministerial levels, were left with no option but to arrange for the second, third, and fourth meals to be sent to his home from outside.
8. Bhutto’s heir. From Sharif’s speeches after his third dismissal and those of his supporters’, an alien from outer space could be excused for believing that Sharif was the political heir to Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto instead of being the biggest beneficiary of mentor and godfather Gen Zia’s coup in 1977 that had culminated in Bhutto’s hanging. Sharif is not an alien from outer space, but he seems to believe the same.

9. The Qatari letters. The Qatari letters (2017), which prompted the infamous ‘Trail established, case demolished’ tweet from daughter Maryam, were an attempt to satisfy the Supreme Court regarding the way the Sharif children had suddenly come in possession of assets worth millions of pounds. Granted that it wasn’t easy to get out of the hole after the ill-advised ‘Alhamdulillah’ interviews by son Husain, and a series of addresses to the nation and the parliament by Sharif himself (all contradicting one another), the Qatari letters represented the summit of naïve optimism.

Given that Nawaz Sharif has been able to preserve his innocence through such corrupt times and for so long, chances are that he is not going to lose it any time soon. That said, it will be unfair to end this little survey without paying tribute to the innocence and naivety of those Pakistanis – the laypeople and ‘analysts’ alike – who fall for Sharif’s innocence every time. Let’s take a moment, here and now, to give a round of applause to that rather large demographic.

Tribune

Categories:  
From other agencies (RSS Reader)